1. Tech Support (or, Family Counseling)
Yes, folks, I know this is extremely off-topic, but this made me bust a gut
laughing and I can't help but share it. I didn't write this, but boy I wish I
had!
LOL
--------------------------------------
>Dear Tech Support "LAPTOP SERVICES (Pty Ltd)",
>
>I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend
>7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected
>child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable
>resources.
>
>This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife
>1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during
>system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity.
>
>Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Golf 5.3 no longer run
>and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate
>Saturday Rugby 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs
>instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst
>attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking
>about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but de-install doesn't work on
>this program.
>Can you please help.
>Joe
Dear Joe,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT
program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its
creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife
1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not
designed to do this and it is impossible to
de-install, delete or purge the program files from the system once
installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife
2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under
Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0
installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the
difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur,
whatever you think has caused
them, you must run the C:\ I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to
use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a
number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will
return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program
can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying
additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0.
Do not under any circumstances install Secretary (Short Skirt
version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the
system will almost certainly crash.
Best of luck Tech Support
2. Re: Tech Support (or, Family Counseling)
- Posted by jjnick at cvn.com
Jun 11, 2001
Actually, I have a solution. To purge Wife 1.0, simply format, and
re-install Girlfriend 7.0 . . .
----- Original Message -----
From: "Travis Beaty" <travisbeaty at arn.net>
To: "EUforum" <EUforum at topica.com>
Subject: Tech Support (or, Family Counseling)
>
> Yes, folks, I know this is extremely off-topic, but this made me bust a
gut
> laughing and I can't help but share it. I didn't write this, but boy I
wish I had!
> LOL
>
> --------------------------------------
>
> >Dear Tech Support "LAPTOP SERVICES (Pty Ltd)",
> >
> >I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend
> >7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected
> >child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable
> >resources.
> >
> >This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife
> >1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during
> >system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity.
> >
> >Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Golf 5.3 no longer run
> >and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate
> >Saturday Rugby 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs
> >instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst
> >attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking
> >about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but de-install doesn't work on
> >this program.
>
> >Can you please help.
> >Joe
>
>
> Dear Joe,
>
> This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
> misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
> thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT
> program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its
> creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife
> 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not
> designed to do this and it is impossible to
> de-install, delete or purge the program files from the system once
> installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife
> 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under
> Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0
> installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the
> difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur,
> whatever you think has caused
> them, you must run the C:\ I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to
> use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a
> number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will
> return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program
> can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying
> additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0.
>
> Do not under any circumstances install Secretary (Short Skirt
> version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the
> system will almost certainly crash.
>
> Best of luck Tech Support
>
3. Re: Tech Support (or, Family Counseling)
- Posted by otter at FULL-MOON.COM
Jun 11, 2001
<blithering begins>
oh no - beware this common error
purging wife 1.0 causes an automatic co-install of Divorce Version 8631.1 <a
very complex and expensive software package if i say so myself> it comes with
automatic installation of Child Support 4.3 <a costly add-on> and Alimony 2.2
<even worse> followed by Poor House 2.3.
better keep Wife 1.0 and put up with the inconvenience...
kind of like win95 <ducking to avoid the slap>
<blithering ends>
At 11:35 PM 06/11/2001 -0600, you wrote:
>
>
>Actually, I have a solution. To purge Wife 1.0, simply format, and
>re-install Girlfriend 7.0 . . .
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Travis Beaty" <travisbeaty at arn.net>
>To: "EUforum" <EUforum at topica.com>
>Sent: Monday, June 11, 2001 11:03 PM
>Subject: Tech Support (or, Family Counseling)
>
>
> >
> > Yes, folks, I know this is extremely off-topic, but this made me bust a
>gut
> > laughing and I can't help but share it. I didn't write this, but boy I
>wish I had!
> > LOL
> >
> > --------------------------------------
> >
> > >Dear Tech Support "LAPTOP SERVICES (Pty Ltd)",
> > >
> > >I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend
> > >7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected
> > >child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable
> > >resources.
> > >
> > >This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife
> > >1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during
> > >system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity.
> > >
> > >Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Golf 5.3 no longer run
> > >and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate
> > >Saturday Rugby 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs
> > >instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst
> > >attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking
> > >about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but de-install doesn't work on
> > >this program.
> >
> > >Can you please help.
> > >Joe
> >
> >
> > Dear Joe,
> >
> > This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
> > misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
> > thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT
> > program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its
> > creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife
> > 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not
> > designed to do this and it is impossible to
> > de-install, delete or purge the program files from the system once
> > installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife
> > 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under
> > Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0
> > installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the
> > difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur,
> > whatever you think has caused
> > them, you must run the C:\ I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to
> > use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a
<snip>
>
4. Re: Tech Support (or, Family Counseling)
As you might have guessed, this didn't cause me to laugh, i saw it as a
commentary on the sad state of affairs when so very different classes of
people are forced together,, ironically by the very culture that formed the two
different classes with such extremely different viewpoints and motivations for
survival.
An example: yesterday, a neighbor waved me down as i drove by, he needed
to borrow some tools to work on his truck, and he told me i would make the
best wife for some lucky man if etc etc etc,,, well, those etcs put an end to it
of course, but that wouldn't stop him from trying to "catch" me, and if i was
stupid enough to not see the etcs, and get married or otherwise involved,
then we'd be in divorce court inside a year. <shrug> He started with "i need a
socket to get the oil pressure sender off" (and he didn't know that's what it
was, i had to tell him), and ended up with "lets have sex",, and his girlfriend
was due to be there any minute. Well, the girlfriend may need him to fix her
cars and do painting, but i don't.
The patriarchial cultures might just have it better by not oppressing women,
i'd guess most marriages wouldn't be needed by anyone, the women wouldn't
need the marriage to live above the poverty line,,, they might *like* men as
equals instead of "needing" one to raise their standing in society, and you
could have all the Girlfriend 7.0 that you want. Confusing "love" and
"compatability" outside sex just doesn't work,, it causes divorce.. It would be
one less game the culture is playing.
I could go on,, but it's so off-topic and prolly useless....
Kat
On 12 Jun 2001, at 0:03, Travis Beaty wrote:
>
> Yes, folks, I know this is extremely off-topic, but this made me bust a gut
> laughing and I can't help but share it. I didn't write this, but boy I wish I
> had! LOL
>
> --------------------------------------
>
> >Dear Tech Support "LAPTOP SERVICES (Pty Ltd)",
> >
> >I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend
> >7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected
> >child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable
> >resources.
> >
> >This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife
> >1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during
> >system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity.
> >
> >Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Golf 5.3 no longer run
> >and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate
> >Saturday Rugby 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs
> >instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst
> >attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking
> >about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but de-install doesn't work on
> >this program.
>
> >Can you please help.
> >Joe
>
>
> Dear Joe,
>
> This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
> misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
> thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT
> program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its
> creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife
> 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not
> designed to do this and it is impossible to
> de-install, delete or purge the program files from the system once
> installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife
> 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under
> Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0
> installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the
> difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur,
> whatever you think has caused
> them, you must run the C:\ I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to
> use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a
> number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will
> return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program
> can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying
> additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0.
>
> Do not under any circumstances install Secretary (Short Skirt
> version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the
> system will almost certainly crash.
>
> Best of luck Tech Support
>
