1. The Real MTS
WARNING!
YOU MUST BE OVER 18 AND NOT A CHILDISH CRAPSNORTER TO READ THIS POST!
LITLLE KIDS DON'T READ THIS!
Heh?
Allright.
I am writing an album -- my first one.
It's called My Home Is Where I Leave My Shades, wich is also the name of the
first song.
Those who know me, know that in 98' I was starting up a RealAudio Radio
website called MTSFreeStyle, and at one point I needed some songs, so I
started writing a few. But, my ISP cut me off and ruined everything. Now, I
have found some of the songs I wroteback then and started writing some new
ones. 7 of my songs are recorded, the rest ain't yet. Well, all my songs are
parodies on other songs. I also laugh with Eminem cos people often say I
remind them of him.
I did the following songs BTW;
- Sex Bum (Sex Bomb)
- Born To Be High (Born To Be Wild)
- Dr. Cage - Still Cage (Dr. Dre - Still Dre)
- My Home Is Where I Leave My Shades (My Name Is Slim Shady)
- The Real Mike The Spike (The Real Slim Shady)
- Life Sucks
- Coders Paradise (Gangstas Paradise)
- I Need A Job
- He Will Shock You (We Will Rock You)
- Pretty Shy For A Black Guy (Pretty Fly For A White Guy)
- High Speed Train
Heh?
Well anyways, you should know who Dr. Cage is.
Dr. Cage is one of my posting characters, like Drake Ice, Jason Leit, JeffK
etc.
I used Dr. Cage one time at 3D Realms and it kinda stuck.
Dr. Cage is a Psychologist/Parapsychologist, Ph.D and Drug Dealer from L.A.
He's like a crazy doctor that deals drugs to little kids and beats up his
patients, etc.
And,
Chris Hargrove AKA Kiwi Dog = 3DR Coder
Joe Siegler AKA DopeFish = Crazy 3DR Webmaster
John Carmack = ID Soft. Coder
Britney Spears = Slut
Well, I just thought I'd post my latest song, wich I allready posted at 3D
Realms a while ago; The Real Mike The Spike. It's about who I am. Excellent!
(ps. I locked up Dr. Cage in this song because I killed the character).
---- The Real Mike The Spike ----
May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Mike The Spike please stand up?
I repeat,
Will the real Mike The Spike please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here...
Yall act like you never seen a nude person before, you whore,
I'll punch your jaws to the floor, then *pang* I
burst open the door and start whooping yer ass
worse than before, divorce your mother and start throwing
her over furniture.
-AAH!
It's the return of the...
Ah wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just jizz on who I think he did, did he?
And Dr. Cage said:
Nothing you idiots! Dr. Cage's dead, he's locked in my
basement. haha!
Feminist women love MTS, chika chika, so slim
and shaved, I'm hickin' him, lickin' him.
We're fucking around grabbing his you know what,
limpin' to you know who. Yeah and he's so cute too!
Yeah I probably get a few screws and some head too,
but what's worse is what is going around with me
in your parents bedroom.
Sometimes I wanna get on the net and let loose
but can't but a scoop is Joe Siegler humping a dead fish.
My bum is yer mom's lips, my bum is yer mom's lips,
and if you're lucky her kiss will smell like dead fish.
Get the message, start delivering my little kids!
You expect me to believe you don't know what a women's clit is?
Offcourse you gotta know what intercourse is, by the time
you hit 4th grade you can act out the discovery channel, whataya say?
We ain't nothing but mammals,
well some of us homos who bend other people over like
antilopes.
But if we can't hump dead animals like Andy hopes, then there's
a reason why a man and another man can't elope.
But if you play Unreal and think I got the antidote,
women wave your pantyho's, sing the chores and it goes!
I'm still shady,
yes I'm real shady,
all you hotter slim ladies are just intimidating
why won't the real ladies' piece stand up?
Piece stand up?
Please stand up?
Cos I'm still shady,
yes I'm real shady,
all you hotter slim ladies are just intimidating
why won't the real ladies' piece stand up?
Piece stand up?
Please stand up?
c
John Carmack don't gotta cuss in his games to set records.
Well I do.
So fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about my grammer?
Half of you coders can't even spell me,
let alone beat me.
"But Spike, how can you win, aren't you too weird?"
Wha?
So you guys ain't lying and think I'm weird?
Set me next to Britney Spears, Chris Hargrove better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to her carcas when her tits burst,
and hear 'em argue over who catched her head first.
Little Dog put me on blast on ZDTV,
"Yeah he's a fruit but I'm a Kiwi!"
I should download his audio in MP3,
and show the whole world how you gave MTS VB!
AAHHH!!
I'm sick of all you little Perl and toy coders,
all you do is annoy me, so I have being sent here to destroy you!
And there's a million of us just like me,
who cuss like me, just don't give a fuck like me,
who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me.
It might just be, the next best thing but not quite me!
Ref.
I'm like a butt rip to listen to,
cos I'm only giving you things you try out
with your friends inside your bedroom,
the only difference is I got bigger balls to stare at and
I don't gotta be false and rubber coat 'em at all.
I just whip out little Mike and spit at it,
and wether you like to admit it I just... (Rip)
I'm better than 90% of you coders out out there,
and then you wanna know why kids eat up all these titles
like Valiums.
It's funny, cos at the rate I'm going,
when I'm 30, I'll be the only coder in the nursing home jerkin'.
Suck the nurse's asses and stick my USB mouse in it while jerking cos
this whole bag of Viagra ins't working.
In every single person there's a Mike The Spike lurking
he could be working at Booty King spitting on your wedding ring,
or in the parkinglot circling screaming "I'm gonna give a fuck!"
with his pants down and his sister on top.
So will the real Spikey please stand up?
And put one of those dicks in each hand up.
And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control,
and one more time, load as you can, how does it go?
Ref.
Dr. Cage: I got out! Haha!
I guess there's a Mike The Spike in all of us...
I'm still tied up though...
--------End---------
And this is an excerpt from My Home Is...
-------------
99 Percent of my life I was lied to,
I just found out my mom codes more
lines then I do.
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous
coder, make a record about doing dogs and
name it after.
You know you blew up when you try to
grab your pants,
and try to outrun a nine-yearold's dad.
That guy's ass showed while
he asked me an autograph,
so I signed it: Dear Dave, thanks for the support, white ass!
----LOL-------
And this fist this list too;
--- Excerpt from He Will Shock You-----
Dr. Cage:
Everybody on the net fears a looney from the streets
they're fleeing from this big man they say!
MTS:
Amo shit on on your face! Rape your race!
Kicking the can right in your face!
Dr. Cage:
He will, he will shock you!
MTS: Fuck you!
Dr. Cage:
He will, he will shock you!
MTS: Fuck you!
HAHA!
I'm crazy! Hehe...
Mike The Spike
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2. Re: The Real MTS
- Posted by cense <cense at mail.ru>
Aug 20, 2000
-
Last edited Aug 21, 2000
Eminem is hurt. Why you still listening to teeny-bopper *west-side* shit for
rap? just wondering?
Your shit is funny. Come up with something original and i might by it.
--
cense
a member of the
ak-software development team
http://ak-software.virtualave.net/
contract work for
Web Velocity IT inc.
http://www.webvelocity.ca/
3. Re: The Real MTS
On Mon, 21 Aug 2000 00:39:03 GMT, Mike The Spike wrote:
>WARNING!
>YOU MUST BE OVER 18 AND NOT A CHILDISH CRAPSNORTER TO READ THIS POST!
>LITLLE KIDS DON'T READ THIS!
Ya know, I've really been biting my tongue since you've come back to this
list. And you must really have a strong neck to support that big (fat)
head of yours. I think "CHILDISH CRAPSNORTER" very well sums up the
content of this post. I shouldn't have to remind you what this list's
purpose is, but it seems that over 90% of your posts simply do not fall
into the category of "Euphoria Programming". If you don't have anything
constructive to add to this forum, then would you please keep it to
yourself or post it where somebody might possibly give a shit?
I know you're going to come back with your four-letter words and lame
threats but you might as well save it. You obviously have no life outside
of your computer so you come to these mailing lists and discussion boards
to try to get a rise out of people just to get attention. If you really
want to play that little game with me, please, spare the others and reply
only to me. I know a little about psychology... maybe I can help you grow
up.
Sincerely,
-- Brian
4. Re: The Real MTS
See kids?
I told you!
NO CHILDISH CRAPSNORTER should have read this.
But obviously, Brian Broker neglected my warning...
Mike The Spike
PS. I will fuck your mother up her nose with my 9-inch cock if you ever do
that again, son of a big (and very ugly nasty ass) whore! That's right!
She's a whore! And I hope she dies just like you: By accidentaly pricking a
street hooker with her needle-dick and having her pimp shoot you in the left
eye with a rocket launcher!
> >WARNING!
> >YOU MUST BE OVER 18 AND NOT A CHILDISH CRAPSNORTER TO READ THIS POST!
> >LITLLE KIDS DON'T READ THIS!
>
>Ya know, I've really been biting my tongue since you've come back to this
>list. And you must really have a strong neck to support that big (fat)
>head of yours. I think "CHILDISH CRAPSNORTER" very well sums up the
>content of this post. I shouldn't have to remind you what this list's
>purpose is, but it seems that over 90% of your posts simply do not fall
>into the category of "Euphoria Programming". If you don't have anything
>constructive to add to this forum, then would you please keep it to
>yourself or post it where somebody might possibly give a shit?
>
>I know you're going to come back with your four-letter words and lame
>threats but you might as well save it. You obviously have no life outside
>of your computer so you come to these mailing lists and discussion boards
>to try to get a rise out of people just to get attention. If you really
>want to play that little game with me, please, spare the others and reply
>only to me. I know a little about psychology... maybe I can help you grow
>up.
>
>Sincerely,
>-- Brian
________________________________________________________________________
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5. Re: The Real MTS
People, friends, psychologists, let us do a step-by-step analyses of Human
Stupidity, The Nr. 1 cause of Being Alone, Being An Ass, and Being An Atom
Brain, in America.
> >WARNING!
> >YOU MUST BE OVER 18 AND NOT A CHILDISH CRAPSNORTER TO READ THIS POST!
> >LITLLE KIDS DON'T READ THIS!
Above you will see a very mature and decent action: The Foreboding of
sexually explicit material to not spoil the innocence in our children.
A good thing to do!
Way to go Mike The Spike!
>Ya know, I've really been biting my tongue since you've come back to this
>list.
Good Brian!
Now you can start by biting my ass!
>And you must really have a strong neck to support that big (fat)
>head of yours.
Yes, my head is very very large, and my neck is very strong, thank you! I
have a very high IQ and work out every day!
And yes, my head contains human fat, the Nr. One source of Energy in the
human body.
Oh! I'm sorry! You were talking about my strong penis and it's big fat head?
Oh yes! My penis is very large! It has a very big and fat neck too!
But you, you have fat IN YOUR NECK, and a small head (Penis Head).
That is very, very bad for future reproduction, for no girl will want to
have sex with you not even if you paid them.
Some might even confuse your penis' head with your balls! How embarasing!
>think "CHILDISH CRAPSNORTER" very well sums up the
>content of this post.
Yes!
Childish Crapsnorter does sum up this post!
I met Mr. Crapsnorter on ICQ just now and he tells me my post rocks!
Ahh yes, can't get enough of Childish Crapsnorter!
Oh! I'm sorry! You don't know that Crapsnorter is a verb? Well, then, I
think you should get somone to sum up your IQ again, Brian!
((1+1 = 2) = Your IQ!)
>I shouldn't have to remind you what this list's
>purpose is, but it seems that over 90% of your posts simply do not fall
>into the category of "Euphoria Programming".
But Brian, if I may be so frank, why do you think that a message containing
a song about Programming does not belong on a Programming mailing list? Are
the voices commanding you to make an ass out of yourself again???
>If you don't have anything
>constructive to add to this forum, then would you please keep it to
>yourself or post it where somebody might possibly give a shit?
Yes, you are right about this one!
And I followed your advice! I left the Forum because I was not constructive
enough!
And yes, I *did* join a place where people give a shit! It is called a
MAILING LIST and it this place where I post my texts wich you read to.
Oh! Are you reffering to this MAILING LIST when you say FORUM?
I think we have to subtract 1 from your IQ!
((1+0) = 1)
>I know you're going to come back with your four-letter words and lame
>threats but you might as well save it.
Save it?
Is it in trouble?
Did the voices send you SOS messages again?
>You obviously have no life outside
>of your computer so you come to these mailing lists and discussion boards
>to try to get a rise out of people just to get attention.
Yes I have dedicated my life to computers! That is what programmers do in
their life: They Program!
Is that term, "A Programmer", unformilliar to your 1 letter vocabulary?
Well then, we must subtract 1 from your IQ again!
(0+0 = 0!)
>If you really
>want to play that little game with me, please, spare the others and reply
>only to me. I know a little about psychology... maybe I can help you grow
>up.
But sir!
I do not want to play games with you!
That is strictly OFF TOPIC! This is a forum about PROGRAMMING, not Playing
Games, and not Flaming People!
My post was about Programming, your reply to my post was about NOTHING !
Why are you going offtopic Brian?
You must know better!
Let us subtract 1..... you allready reached the IQ of ZERO??
Then you are clinically dead!
Oh God have mercy on us all!
A dead man who can write!
No wounder it is all bullshit, his brain probably is decomposing!
>Sincerely,
>-- Brian
Mike The Spike
PS. fool....
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6. Re: The Real MTS
On Mon, 21 Aug 2000, you wrote:
> See kids?
> I told you!
> NO CHILDISH CRAPSNORTER should have read this.
Why not? A childish crapsnorter wrote it.
