Allow me to introduce myself...
Hi yall!
Hehe...
Finally, the time has cum for me to drag my white ass through the hills of
deceit and bullshititus, and throw away my mantle of illusions and
compulsive brainwashing psychology...
Heh?
Allright.
Some of you may remember me.
Some of you may know me.
But none of you truly do ;)
My name is Mike [The Spike] Smith.
I am an artificial intelligence programmer for a large language and speech
recognition company.
Alongside programming AI in C, I have other little hobbies and projects
going on.
One of them is programming in Euphoria, another is working on a crapload of
revolutionary (3D) software products in C, and the last one is... messing
with people's heads, physical and psychological ;)
I am known around the Internet for my extreme use of obscene language and
powerfull seductive methods.
WTF am I doing here?
I'll explain...
A long time ago, I met with a small group of (former) Euphoria programmers
on IRC, names witheld. We started a discussion of wich language was more
powerfull, C or Euphoria. Soon people started to shit on Euphoria's name in
a way of saying "We want a more!", AKA a compiler, various DLL, OCX and
dynamic interprettation features. Because they knew my powerfull
psychological bullshiting ways of getting things done, they asked me to have
a little "convincing chat" with RDS. The galant black knight on a shiny
white Compaq wich I am, I did them one better. I fucked each and every one
of you people's heads over, including RDS's, untill, well, yall got what you
wanted.
Are you starting to catch on?
Mike The Spike, Jason Leit, Drake Ice...
All me ;)
By convincing RDS they had competition in creating a Euphoria "compiler",
with awesome cool features wich we'd all want to see in Euphoria, I got them
to start working on their own compiler.
Many have notticed this was just a plot (especially RDS) when I was offering
tips on how to implement features into a Euphoria compiler, and my
remarkable "Go ahead! I don't mind!" way of dealing with the fact that RDS
anounced that they would "try to beat me to it". To make sure they'd
actually work on it, I did not make myself knowledgable to you all. But now
that the Euphoria compiler is as good as finnished, and RDS plans to release
within the next few months, I came clean. Drake Ice was a final way to
express myself about what Euphoria's flaws were, and Jason Leit a way to get
info on the current status of the project, plus throw out some benchmarks to
convince RDS that the game was far from won.
I am "hired help", and did not want to keep this Convincing RDS promise
bugging me for too long, too.
Allthough I did fullfill it pretty damned good by posting on various mailing
lists and non-Euphoria related bulletin boards to create tension.
So, anyone wich I offended in my fictive posts...
A. It was exaturated, but some of you do suck white ass! Go fuck a humming
bird, needle dicks!
B. It was an act. Deal with it.
Heh?
Well ok, err, there is some thanking you should do now!
Come on! It's the only way I'm getting payed!
Aren't you gratefull?
I asked you a question you fucking son of a bitch! Oh! Gosh! Please don't
let my Email interfere with the weekly act of fucking your mother wich is a
common practice in your household, mistah prettey tits!
No gratitude for me huh? YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH I'LL TEAR YOUR FACE OFF
AND NAIL IT TO YOUR ASS, FUCKING TIGHT-ASS MR. 'I HAVE A UFO STUCK UP MY
ASS' BITCH!! KISS MY RING, DAMNIT!
Heh?
J/K ;)
Well now that my work here is done, I do have to warn RDS, I actually
allready have a Euphoria++ to C translator written in C++, so don't think
this is the end of it, since my marketing skills are "Out of this universe".
Hey! I didn't become wealthy using the national lottery, pal!
I just don't feel the need to market a Euphoria++ compiled programming
language, right now. <- nottice "right now"!
So keep working on that translator RDS, and implement Dynamic
Interprettation, or you'll feel a bit of MTS up your ass!
Hehe...
Mike The Spike
PS. Don't you just hate me?
...
Don't awnser or I'll flush your foot down the toilet!
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