webserver proxy

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I feel up a creek without the paddle, or vice versa.... I was asked to do a 
commercial project for a web dot-com last nite (in real life, by the owner, 
handshakes and all that stuff). The same ole problem is with me however, i 
cannot have my ip on his webpages, unfiltered from abuse. I akicked another 
^%$&$% from channels on irc last nite, for abusing Tiggr, it's a common 
problem. 

So what i need, for those willing to give it a try, is a program to:
1) run on a remote nix box <clueless kat-look>
2) read ini file when user connects, 
3) filter by the contents of the ini file (ip#)
4) filter based on number of contacts per minute
5) filter based on contacts per ip per minute
6) return a file i provide if i am not available, if the rate of requests is 
exceeded per ip#, per global volume, or if the ip is bing "firewalled" from me.
7) and most importantly, connect to me (or maintain a connection i initiate) 
so the user on the front door sees my services transparently, but not know i 
am there for the dot-com.

The results will be appear in a frame in the user's browser. I would prefer to 
own the program you develop, written in Eu, so i can use it where needed. 
Any takers?

Kat

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