1. Off-topic but funny
- Posted by Jan & Gerald Harvey <vk2bnh at IX.NET.AU> May 27, 1999
- 391 views
- Last edited May 28, 1999
<!doctype html public "-//w3c//dtd html 4.0 transitional//en"> <html> Here's something to sink you funny bone into...<b><u></u></b> <p>- NOTE - No offence meant to Irish people.<b><u></u></b> <p><b><u>JOKE START</u> -</b> <br><b><u></u></b> <center> <p><b><u>A LETTER FROM AN IRISH MOTHER</u></b></center> <br><b><u></u></b> <br><b><u></u></b> <blockquote><b>Dear Son,</b> <br><b></b> <b></b> <p><b>Just a few lines to let you know I am still alive. I am writing</b> <br><b>this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. You won't</b> <br><b>know the house when you come home, we moved.</b> <br><b></b> <b></b> <p><b>About your father, he has a lovely new job, he has 600 men under</b> <br><b>him. He cuts grass at the cemetery.</b> <br><b></b> <b></b> <p><b>There was a washing machine in the house when we moved in, but</b> <br><b>it hasn't being working too good. Last week I put in 14</b> <br><b>shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen the shirts since.</b> <br><b></b> <b></b> <p><b>Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out</b> <br><b>whether an uncle or an aunt. Your Uncle Dick drowned last week</b> <br><b>in a vat of whiskey at the Dublin Brewery. Some of his mates tried</b> <br><b>to save him, but he fought them off bravely. They cremated his</b> <br><b>remains , and it took 3 days to put the fire out.</b> <br><b></b> <b></b> <p><b>I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The</b> <br><b>doctor put a small tube inside me mouth and told me not to talk for</b> <br><b>10 minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.</b> <br><b></b> <br><b></b> <b></b> <p><b>It only rained twice last week, first for 3 days and then</b> <br><b>for 4 days. Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same</b> <br><b>eggs 4 times.</b> <br><b></b> <b></b> <p><b>We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last</b> <br><b>payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven</b> <br><b>days - up she comes.</b><b></b> <p><br><b></b> <br><b></b> <center> <p><b>Your loving Mother,</b></center> <br><b></b> <br><b></b> <br><b></b> <br><b></b> <p><b>P.S. I was going to send you $10 but I had already sealed the envelope.</b><b></b> <center> <u>JOKE END</u> -</b></center> </blockquote> </html>
2. Re: Off-topic but funny
- Posted by Terry Moriarty <terry at EDERNEY.IDPS.CO.UK> May 27, 1999
- 395 views
On Thu, 27 May 1999 22:42:27 +1000, Jan & Gerald Harvey <vk2bnh at IX.NET.AU> wrote: ><!doctype html public "-//w3c//dtd html 4.0 transitional//en"> ><html> >Here's something to sink you funny bone into...<b><u></u></b> ><p>- NOTE - No offence meant to Irish people.<b><u></u></b> ><p><b><u>JOKE START</u> -</b> ><br><b><u></u></b> ><center> ><p><b><u>A LETTER FROM AN IRISH MOTHER</u></b></center> > ><br><b><u></u></b> ><br><b><u></u></b> ><blockquote><b>Dear Son,</b> ><br><b></b> <b></b> ><p><b>Just a few lines to let you know I am still alive. I am writing</b> ><br><b>this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. You >won't</b> ><br><b>know the house when you come home, we moved.</b> ><br><b></b> <b></b> ><p><b>About your father, he has a lovely new job, he has 600 men under</b> ><br><b>him. He cuts grass at the cemetery.</b> ><br><b></b> <b></b> ><p><b>There was a washing machine in the house when we moved in, but</b> ><br><b>it hasn't being working too good. Last week I put in 14</b> ><br><b>shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen the shirts since.</b> ><br><b></b> <b></b> ><p><b>Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out</b> ><br><b>whether an uncle or an aunt. Your Uncle Dick drowned last >week</b> ><br><b>in a vat of whiskey at the Dublin Brewery. Some of his mates >tried</b> ><br><b>to save him, but he fought them off bravely. They cremated >his</b> ><br><b>remains , and it took 3 days to put the fire out.</b> ><br><b></b> <b></b> ><p><b>I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. >The</b> ><br><b>doctor put a small tube inside me mouth and told me not to talk >for</b> ><br><b>10 minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.</b> ><br><b></b> ><br><b></b> <b></b> ><p><b>It only rained twice last week, first for 3 days and then</b> ><br><b>for 4 days. Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the >same</b> ><br><b>eggs 4 times.</b> ><br><b></b> <b></b> ><p><b>We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last</b> ><br><b>payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven</b> ><br><b>days - up she comes.</b><b></b> ><p><br><b></b> ><br><b></b> ><center> ><p><b>Your loving Mother,</b></center> > ><br><b></b> ><br><b></b> ><br><b></b> ><br><b></b> ><p><b>P.S. I was going to send you $10 but I had already sealed the >envelope.</b><b></b> ><center> ; ><u>JOKE END</u> -</b></center> ></blockquote> ></html> I could be wrong, but is this the same mother who later posted him a coat? She cut off the buttons and put them in the pocket, to cut down the wieght for postage costs.
3. Re: Off-topic but funny
- Posted by Lionel Wong <eljay98 at HOTMAIL.COM> May 28, 1999
- 381 views
- Last edited May 29, 1999
>From: Jan & Gerald Harvey <vk2bnh at IX.NET.AU> >Reply-To: Euphoria Mailing List <EUPHORIA at LISTSERV.MUOHIO.EDU> >To: EUPHORIA at LISTSERV.MUOHIO.EDU >Subject: Off-topic but funny >Date: Thu, 27 May 1999 22:42:27 +1000 > Heard that one before. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com