1. Off-topic but funny
- Posted by Jan & Gerald Harvey <vk2bnh at IX.NET.AU>
May 27, 1999
-
Last edited May 28, 1999
<!doctype html public "-//w3c//dtd html 4.0 transitional//en">
<html>
Here's something to sink you funny bone into...<b><u></u></b>
<p>- NOTE - No offence meant to Irish people.<b><u></u></b>
<p><b><u>JOKE START</u> -</b>
<br><b><u></u></b>
<center>
<p><b><u>A LETTER FROM AN IRISH MOTHER</u></b></center>
<br><b><u></u></b>
<br><b><u></u></b>
<blockquote><b>Dear Son,</b>
<br><b></b> <b></b>
<p><b>Just a few lines to let you know I am still alive. I am writing</b>
<br><b>this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. You
won't</b>
<br><b>know the house when you come home, we moved.</b>
<br><b></b> <b></b>
<p><b>About your father, he has a lovely new job, he has 600 men under</b>
<br><b>him. He cuts grass at the cemetery.</b>
<br><b></b> <b></b>
<p><b>There was a washing machine in the house when we moved in, but</b>
<br><b>it hasn't being working too good. Last week I put in 14</b>
<br><b>shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen the shirts since.</b>
<br><b></b> <b></b>
<p><b>Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out</b>
<br><b>whether an uncle or an aunt. Your Uncle Dick drowned last
week</b>
<br><b>in a vat of whiskey at the Dublin Brewery. Some of his mates
tried</b>
<br><b>to save him, but he fought them off bravely. They cremated
his</b>
<br><b>remains , and it took 3 days to put the fire out.</b>
<br><b></b> <b></b>
<p><b>I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me.
The</b>
<br><b>doctor put a small tube inside me mouth and told me not to talk
for</b>
<br><b>10 minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.</b>
<br><b></b>
<br><b></b> <b></b>
<p><b>It only rained twice last week, first for 3 days and then</b>
<br><b>for 4 days. Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the
same</b>
<br><b>eggs 4 times.</b>
<br><b></b> <b></b>
<p><b>We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last</b>
<br><b>payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven</b>
<br><b>days - up she comes.</b><b></b>
<p><br><b></b>
<br><b></b>
<center>
<p><b>Your loving Mother,</b></center>
<br><b></b>
<br><b></b>
<br><b></b>
<br><b></b>
<p><b>P.S. I was going to send you $10 but I had already sealed the
envelope.</b><b></b>
<center>
<u>JOKE END</u> -</b></center>
</blockquote>
</html>
2. Re: Off-topic but funny
On Thu, 27 May 1999 22:42:27 +1000, Jan & Gerald Harvey <vk2bnh at IX.NET.AU>
wrote:
><!doctype html public "-//w3c//dtd html 4.0 transitional//en">
><html>
>Here's something to sink you funny bone into...<b><u></u></b>
><p>- NOTE - No offence meant to Irish people.<b><u></u></b>
><p><b><u>JOKE START</u> -</b>
><br><b><u></u></b>
><center>
><p><b><u>A LETTER FROM AN IRISH MOTHER</u></b></center>
>
><br><b><u></u></b>
><br><b><u></u></b>
><blockquote><b>Dear Son,</b>
><br><b></b> <b></b>
><p><b>Just a few lines to let you know I am still alive. I am
writing</b>
><br><b>this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. You
>won't</b>
><br><b>know the house when you come home, we moved.</b>
><br><b></b> <b></b>
><p><b>About your father, he has a lovely new job, he has 600 men under</b>
><br><b>him. He cuts grass at the cemetery.</b>
><br><b></b> <b></b>
><p><b>There was a washing machine in the house when we moved in, but</b>
><br><b>it hasn't being working too good. Last week I put in 14</b>
><br><b>shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen the shirts since.</b>
><br><b></b> <b></b>
><p><b>Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out</b>
><br><b>whether an uncle or an aunt. Your Uncle Dick drowned last
>week</b>
><br><b>in a vat of whiskey at the Dublin Brewery. Some of his mates
>tried</b>
><br><b>to save him, but he fought them off bravely. They cremated
>his</b>
><br><b>remains , and it took 3 days to put the fire out.</b>
><br><b></b> <b></b>
><p><b>I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me.
>The</b>
><br><b>doctor put a small tube inside me mouth and told me not to talk
>for</b>
><br><b>10 minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.</b>
><br><b></b>
><br><b></b> <b></b>
><p><b>It only rained twice last week, first for 3 days and then</b>
><br><b>for 4 days. Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the
>same</b>
><br><b>eggs 4 times.</b>
><br><b></b> <b></b>
><p><b>We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last</b>
><br><b>payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven</b>
><br><b>days - up she comes.</b><b></b>
><p><br><b></b>
><br><b></b>
><center>
><p><b>Your loving Mother,</b></center>
>
><br><b></b>
><br><b></b>
><br><b></b>
><br><b></b>
><p><b>P.S. I was going to send you $10 but I had already sealed the
>envelope.</b><b></b>
><center>
;
><u>JOKE END</u> -</b></center>
></blockquote>
></html>
I could be wrong, but is this the same mother who later posted him a coat?
She cut off the buttons and put them in the pocket, to cut down the wieght
for postage costs. 
3. Re: Off-topic but funny
- Posted by Lionel Wong <eljay98 at HOTMAIL.COM>
May 28, 1999
-
Last edited May 29, 1999
>From: Jan & Gerald Harvey <vk2bnh at IX.NET.AU>
>Reply-To: Euphoria Mailing List <EUPHORIA at LISTSERV.MUOHIO.EDU>
>To: EUPHORIA at LISTSERV.MUOHIO.EDU
>Subject: Off-topic but funny
>Date: Thu, 27 May 1999 22:42:27 +1000
>
Heard that one before.
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