1. FW: Chain letter from outer space
Dear Earthling,
Hello! I am a creature from a galaxy far away, visiting
your planet. I have transformed myself into this text file.
As you are reading it I am having sex with your eyeballs. I
know you like it because you are smiling. Please pass me on
to someone else because I am really horny.
Gag-O-Mactic Joke Server 2.0
jokes at gag-o-matic.lowcomdom.com
Info on Subscribing and unsubscribing:
www.lowcomdom.com/joke_of_the_day.html
2. Re: FW: Chain letter from outer space
>Poster: Lucius L Hilley III <luciuslhilleyiii at JUNO.COM>
>Subject: FW: Chain letter from outer space
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Dear Earthling,
>
<snip>
And if you think that post was funny, read on:
---- Ripped from the March 1995 issue of Visual Basic Programmers Journal ----
Function ChooseOS$()
If Exist(DOS) Then
Do
DoEvents
Loop Until Not Exist(DOS)
End If
If Trim$(Windows95$) = Windows$ Then
If Val(OS2$) = 0 Then
Do
Run WindowsNT$
If Performance(WindowsNT$) < TOLERABLE Then
NTVersion! = NTVersion! + 1
Else
ChooseOS$ = WindowsNT$
Exit Function
End If
Loop Until NTVersion! > OS2Version!
' - - Fall through to Windows 95
Else
Do
If Shell(OS2$) = MACINTOSH Then
Call FTC()
ChooseOS$ = Windows95$
Exit Function
Else
If Exist(OS2_Device_Drivers) Then
If Exist(OS2_Applications) Then
Dim OS2Apps(3)
For I = 1 to 3
Run OS2Apps(I)
Next
If IBM Is
StillInBusiness Then
ChooseOS$ = OS2$
Exit Function
End If
End If
End If
End If
Loop Until Now = Windows95_ReleaseDate
' - - Fall through to Windows 95
End If
End If
If RamRequired(Windows95$) > FreeMemory() Then
Call RamSupplier
Get More_Ram
End If
Run Windows95$
If Not GPF(Windows95$) Then
ChooseOS$ = Windows95$
Else
' - - Last resort
Flavor = Int(Rnd(999999) + 1) * 999999
ChooseOS$ = Unix$(Flavor)
End If
End Function
------ End Rip ------
James Powell (wizard at djo.com)
PS.
Headline seen on National Enquirer:
RECENT STUDY CLAIMS THAT ONLY 50% OF THE PATIENTS
WHO ENTER AN ABORTION CLINIC COME OUT ALIVE!!!
